Soulmates Redefined: Exploring Love's Many Forms

Have you ever felt an inexplicable connection with someone as if your souls were old friends? Join us as we embark on a heartfelt journey through the mysteries of soulmates, challenging the traditional quest for "the one" and opening the doors to a world where profound connections flourish in myriad forms. In a vibrant discussion that weaves personal anecdotes with spiritual insights, we reconsider the customary portrayal of soulmates, proposing that these significant bonds aren't exclusive to romantic partners but also include the cherished ties with friends and family.

This episode takes you on an explorative path where we dissect the initial sparks that ignite our hearts and ponder if they're truly markers of a destined soulmate or just nature's chemistry at play. As we unravel the pressures society places on us to find that singular perfect match, we share intimate reflections on the power and depth of familial love. Prepare to expand your perspective on love's diverse expressions and the soul's capacity for multiple meaningful relationships, both in this lifetime and beyond. Sit down with your favorite brew and join us for the next episode of Pagan Coffee Talk. 

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:25

Welcome to Peg and Coffee Talk. Here are your hosts, Lady Alba and Lord Knight.

Speaker 2 0:33

Oh, okay, I'm so excited about this topic I'm vibrating. I want to talk about soulmates, yay.

Speaker 3 0:47

What is a soulmate? Oh Jesus.

Speaker 2 0:49

You first Okay.

Speaker 3 0:53

Soulmates are two souls that were intertwined with each other to always refine themselves for all eternity. Are they created or do they just come that way?

Speaker 2 1:11

I think it could be either, or I think, the better question. This is why I'm so excited about this topic. The overwhelming belief is that there's one perfect soul out there for you.

Speaker 1 1:27

You're one soulmate.

Speaker 2 1:30

It's everybody's quest to find their soulmate. Now, I love this shit. We've got twin flames. Do you find my twin flame? No, here's my issue.

Speaker 3 1:49

Okay.

Speaker 2 1:51

You're my soulmate. Yes, aswin is my soulmate.

Speaker 3 1:54

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 1:55

My husband was my soulmate. Uh-huh, my daughter is my soulmate.

Speaker 3 1:58

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 1:59

Yeah.

Speaker 3 2:00

Why.

Speaker 2 2:01

Because, first of all, in our living form. Okay, well, and again, it depends on how you view living in our corporeal form. How about that? Because we inhabit these bodies and walk this earth. We encounter so many people and many of them we create strong loving bonds with Right. Some of those bonds are familial, some of them are friendships, some of them are love interests. Why are we so stupid is to think that it would be any different On the other side, when here's the thing I always find fun we're dead longer than we're alive.

Speaker 3 2:52

Yes.

Speaker 2 2:53

We spend more time on the spiritual plane than we do on this one. So are you gonna tell me that in the entire time we're on the spiritual plane, we are only interacting with the people that we were alive with and no one else? That's impossible. And, more importantly again, the soulmate idea is that it's one other soul and you guys are coming back together. Come on, it's not logical, it's just not. If we are a part of something greater, right, a creative force, and we go back to it, there are pieces of us that interacted with it, that interacted with souls here, interact with souls in the afterlife. I mean, come on, find me a mother who would not say that her offspring are her soulmates. Of course they are Right.

Speaker 3 3:55

Matter of fact, if I remember correctly, even the children's DNA gets wrapped up in the mothers after they're born. Yeah, because they're there for so long.

Speaker 2 4:06

But there's all kinds of things. Again, the bonds that we form are phenomenal, yes, so to deny ourselves or deprive ourselves the opportunity for that to continue in multiple ways is kind of messed up. It is. It's also such a bullshit romantic notion, right Like.

Speaker 3 4:31

Lord Oswun, are you my soulmate?

Speaker 2 4:34

Yes, Mine too, but he just said yes, from beyond the door.

Speaker 3 4:46

The reason I bring this up because again, there is a specific ritual we do. Yes, not again. Getting us to do it is pulling teeth A hand faster Right yeah. Which we believe that this is what makes, for lack of a better thing, the whole soulmate thing to begin with, right.

Speaker 2 5:05

But that.

Speaker 3 5:08

That's a little different than this concept of one perfect person out there.

Speaker 2 5:13

Yeah, I mean, I think so like, okay, Wiccans have weddings and then they have hand fastings, and depending on the tradition, there's different views on them. Right, we've seen traditions where a hand fasting is literally like a temporary contract. Yep, it's a year and a day. If your marriage survives said year and day, you can continue or you can walk away. I actually think there's something brilliant about that in that I, if I, if I had my way, couples would not file a marriage certificate until after the year in a day. The year in a day is a trial marriage, basically.

Speaker 2 5:59

If you can survive this if you can like see what happens for that first year should there be?

Speaker 3 6:03

should there be anything else there? Do they need to go to counseling?

Speaker 2 6:07

Well, yeah, of course, of course there's other components there, but I'm just saying a year in a day, minimum, and maybe you renew a few times and you decide if you're in it for the long haul. Actually, go ahead and file a marriage certificate, because many, many couples will just be like Good, shake hands, walk away regardless of the financial and blah blah blah and it's a bigger headache the most, but get into a Voice nowadays sucks. Yeah, it's awful.

Speaker 3 6:37

It's completely nutsy and I know a lot of people are like I don't, even if it doesn't work out, I don't want to put up with this, so why go through it?

Speaker 2 6:44

to begin with yeah, exactly, I mean. But there's that. And then there's the handfastings where, yes, it's a soul bonding, right, but even those come with caveats. Yes, they can be broken. So, knowing that and understanding that, I feel like on this plane, what is it? It's a very extreme commitment ceremony. Yes, you are Really going, I'm in it, I'm in it all the way. Fine, but again, I don't know. I look at certain things and I go. There have been too many instances in my life where I have met another person and gone I know you right, holy shit, do I know you Right? And there's no going back. Nope, once you've met once you, yeah, it's like a Rekindling, hence that whole flame. You know thing right.

Speaker 2 7:46

And I don't See how more people, especially in craft, don't acknowledge that for what it is. You can meet past parents, past lovers, past children. I mean, look last, go around. We could have been different genders and you could have been, I don't know my mom so sure you could have been my mommy, and and whatever is left of those threads, those tie. We recognized it. Yes. Does it mean the relationship is gonna be the same? No, what do we do? We work with what we've got.

Speaker 3 8:25

I was he calls it. Here's my question if we do believe in the whole soul mates and stuff. What do we do when your soulmate does come back as your parent?

Speaker 2 8:36

This is where a lot of people get fucked.

Speaker 2 8:39

All right very bad way. They Misinterpret what they're experiencing right, they misinterpret the connection and, yes, this is how people with really, really gigantic age gaps end up in compromising positions. This is how you end up having an inappropriate not always, but sometimes right an inappropriate Relationship with somebody, or it's how you know. Sometimes you just meet two people and you go, god damn it. You guys are just a volatile. You suck together, yeah, but separately they're decent people, it's same thing. It just there. You're trying to, in those instances of force, a love connection. That is not there. I have met so many couples over the years where I have gone. You guys would just be great friends, just be friends, stop trying to make it something else, and just be friends, and it would be great. But we don't do that. We're stubborn, we're stubborn us humanity.

Speaker 2 9:50

stubborn, no, never but we're also spoon-fed these bullshit ideas of again one eternal romance. No, when the rhythm are oh.

Speaker 2 10:02

More or less. I mean, it's even got a ring involved. Come on, it's so silly, it's like no, what, why does that? It's? It's a very bizarre notion to think that again, we would not look into the soul, the eyes of a Child from a previous life and not know them. That's impossible. Right instantly, you will know them. But Does that mean that the relationship is gonna be the same? No, and that's okay. I think the other thing is again, we have so many soulmates. It's kind of sickening. There's a lot of them. Yes, there's a lot of souls. Yes, yeah, and that's okay. We're pack animals. We don't go it alone. We never have.

Speaker 3 10:58

Well, now, these people that seem to hunt for this, there are people out there. They seem to become obsessed with finding this one soulmate that they often pass up people who would be good fits.

Speaker 2 11:14

Yes, because they're looking for that spark, that connection, that thing. That again is like and I can only explain it the way I experience it it really feels like a part of my, but something in my body is trying to get out to reach you, to reach the other soul, and it's like, oh, it's magnetic, it's ridiculous, but if we really pay attention, we've had those experiences our whole life. The first thing a baby does, yep, and it's like it's a huge for its mom. It's already. We know this, right, right, so, and it's the same way people go oh, you know, you're, you're, you know, even if your dad, you know the child hears you in the womb and knows you. Yeah, that's part of it, but there may be more going on there. It's funny how you know, sometimes, children, especially if you've got, you know, multiple kids in the household, you know there's always that one who's got the real close connection with dad, or the one that's got the real close bond with mom.

Speaker 2 12:24

And you're like why, don't know, it's just special, it's just different, it's something about those two.

Speaker 3 12:30

It's just the weight. Yes, it's just weight. It's just weight. Sometimes moms are closer to their daughters. Sometimes they're closer to their sons. It's just yes.

Speaker 2 12:41

And sometimes you repel each other. Don't figure, there's that option too. One of the funniest things that I ever heard was someone it was a very specific description, but fellow, fellow pagan, fellow priestess and she goes. You know, it's kind of like the opposite of Namaste. You know, namaste, being my soul, meets your soul and acknowledges your soul, whereas in this case it's my soul, sees your soul and wants to destroy it. And that was like that's funny. Because why again? Why wouldn't it? Why wouldn't that exist? Sometimes we just don't like people and we don't know why. How many times have you just gone? I don't like that guy. He rubs me the wrong way. I don't like him.

Speaker 3 13:32

I don't know, it's just something about the way it looks the way it talks Right.

Speaker 2 13:37

Why is that not part of the same mechanism? How do we know that that's not somebody from a past life that we had beef with? Yes, we were wary of them because we were aware, because they did something then, and now we're like I don't think I trust you. I need to keep my distance from you. You're not safe. Who knows?

Speaker 3 13:57

When we go out and we meet people for class and stuff like that. Sometimes there is this instant connection.

Speaker 2 14:05

God, yes, absolutely, but we have to let it sort of organically evolve.

Speaker 3 14:14

Yeah.

Speaker 2 14:15

You know, and that's hard sometimes, to not force it, push it.

Reevaluating the Concept of Soulmates

Speaker 3 14:19

But yeah Now let me ask you could these people that are looking for the soul mates? Could it be that they're not looking for the soul mates or actual love? They just think that it's supposed to be that spark when you first meet, that intense the whole entire time?

Speaker 2 14:37

Yeah, what I think happens more often than not is, I feel like those people are misinterpreting the chemical signals in their brain and the chemical signals that typically attract us to somebody of you know, right, whatever gender we're attracted to, and it's that and that, yeah, again problematic, because the chemical input is totally different. So it's like you may have your best friend in the whole world, who you've known your whole life, and you do anything for this person, and you're sitting there going, but I still haven't found my soul mate. Yes, you have. They've been right there this whole time. You're wanting the chemical input to tell you that you want to suck face with that person, right?

Speaker 3 15:32

You're chasing that love.

Speaker 2 15:33

Yeah, but that's not necessarily what it is. And again I just, I think it's ridiculous to think that it's just one person for anybody.

Speaker 3 15:43

No, I mean because when we're sitting there we're counseling people home Love and stuff like that relationship. We always what's gonna be like, you know, in the middle of the night when you're Gash's and you're farting in the bad and you still gotta get up the next day and that guy and that person besides just snoring like a freaking.

Speaker 2 16:03

There's so many intricacies that we don't think about. But, right, what happens when we, when we're interested in someone, we're attracted to them? It's dopamine, serotonin, it's right. It's all these chemicals that flood our system and we're stupid. We are stupid, we make stupid ass decisions, right, that's the whole. You know, you fall madly in love and all that, but At some point calm down, it wears down and then you go. Okay, what's left?

Speaker 3 16:35

well, see and again. Some of these things are not always lost. I remember watching a comedy show one day. Sun comes in, he's got his t-shirt on his boxer shorts, goes in the refrigerator, pulls out the milk, drinks at the mom sitting there and he scratches. But and the mom sitting there and with his sister going, oh god, this is gross, I can't watch that. Yeah, five seconds later's dad comes in, does the same thing and she's like, damn, he's hot. Yeah, the daughter's going, huh yeah, look at that man.

Speaker 2 17:03

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But I think that when we start to look at this deeper and look at it differently, we are able to appreciate the relationships we have differently. Because if we stop seeing it, is that one perfect person that's so made. If we start going, yeah, you're my soulmate, you're my soulmate, you're my, how much better will we treat everybody? True, we, we would literally have such different relationships with our friends and our family because I think we would offer a different level of respect for one right.

Speaker 2 17:43

And two, I think well, you just be happier because you're not chasing something constantly looking, looking, looking, looking.

Speaker 3 17:52

Stop looking, look at what's right there right, you don't know these people that, for the lack of better thing that what we said, we call it the love high. Do you not see their same behavior as being more that of a drug addict?

Speaker 2 18:06

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. I mean it's you know. Look, I'll be the first to admit some people just don't do well by themselves. But there is typically a pattern of behavior of people who jump one after the next after the net, madly in love every single time and you're like wait a second. Wait a minute, that's not what's going on here.

Speaker 3 18:33

Yeah, it's a chemically induced state that eventually wears up yeah and then the relationship normally goes to hell after that. Yeah, typically yeah.

Speaker 2 18:46

Yeah, and I know it's tough, because so many pagans want the soulmate connection and they want, and it doesn't mean you don't have it Again. Your spouse, your significant other can absolutely be one of those deep, incredible loves of your life. But but accept that there's more than one. You know, I remember looking at my daughter who is my stepdaughter, technically right, biologically. I never gave birth to her and probably about six months after her dad passed away, you know, I kissed her on top of the head and I said you know, you're really the love of my life because, it's true, in a strange way I have adopted her and I am far more willing to put up with her bullshit than anybody else's.

Speaker 3 19:45

Let me say this that's not a lot of bullshit. She's actually kind of she has her moments, but you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 19:51

But I am way more forgiving and way more because I mean, seriously, but she that's how I view her and I go. I think most parents feel that way in some respect. You know, it's that whole thing when you go, I would die for my kid, my husband, meh, maybe you know. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I just I think it is an interesting perspective and it's something we have to kind of look at or unpackage a little differently. And again it trying to buy into all the other bullshit. I mean, oh my God, how many love spells are devoted to finding the one.

Speaker 3 20:28

Oh my God.

Speaker 2 20:28

Finding the one you know. I mean, come on, I love the ones that are the old school folklore where it's like to get him to him or her to cross the threshold. Right, I'm like are you really going to tell me the Amazon delivery guy is your net, like you know. Come on, and maybe he is, but unless you go greet him for that package and talk to him, you'll never know. Yeah.

Speaker 3 20:58

I'm just saying you're not sure what kind of policies they have home when you show up in your necklace See.

Speaker 2 21:04

In all seriousness though it's so. So, so far in your life, how many soulmates would you say you've had If you had to? Hmm, hmm, Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Speaker 4 21:15

Hmm.

Speaker 3 21:17

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Speaker 2 21:21

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm Hmm. You marry so many soulmates you marry four years. No yeah, there's always gonna be that little bit of mm-hmm. What'd you do? What'd you do? Mm-hmm? Do we need to talk about it?

Speaker 3 22:11

No. Yeah, yeah so yeah look, You'll be fine. It's a flesh wound.

Speaker 2 22:21

I can honestly say that our soul link is definitely due in part to coffee. In part, in part, we did meet for coffee.

Speaker 3 22:30

I think we were born into coffee trees.

Speaker 2 22:33

We met and fell in love over coffee. Aw, we're gross.

Speaker 1 22:40

Thanks for listening. Join us next week for another episode. Peg and Coffee Talk is brought to you by Lifetimell and Seminary. Please visit us at lifetimellseminaryorg for more information, as well as links to our social media Facebook, discord, twitter, youtube and Reddit.

Speaker 4 22:58

We travel down this trodden path, the maze of stone and mire. Just hold my hand as we pass by a sea of blazing fires. And so it is the end of our day, so walk with me till morning breaks. And so it is the end of our day. So walk with me till morning breaks.